Reflections

Be careful what you pray for, you might just get it. After the break up and the brief reconciliation then final break up … He went away after two weeks and I was actually very fine. At that time I wished that he would just go away and stay away so I could be fin e…Guess what? When he came back, he said that he had been posted to Malvdives for one year! What was I to do but to wish him well? Imagine I couldn’t believe it. Its almost like God heard and answered my prayers …I felt like God was saying, “ Mess with my daughter and I will have you shipped to the other end of the world!” I still smile at this thought. Am still amazed that this is actually happening. But it is. I believe God just saved me inspite of myself. Funny something else that was going on within the brief time he was back and before he went. I noticed his closeness with another married woman …At first I though aaah its nothing but now thinking that otherwise, IF I didn’t it would make me the most naïve person ever. Espeially since I have been there and done the same things she does too…walking out of class to call when he isn’t in, making attempts to explain why he is not there or he is the one excusing me when am absent or why we are the ones passing that message . Shedding a tear or two over him while in class, ignoring everyone else just to walk and talk with him. The guilt trips. Moodiness. But she will get over it. I did. I mean after watching her, I thought. What on earth was I getting myself into? I must have suffered temporary insanity or simple foolishness. I mean I am the lucky one to be out of it! And crazy enough, I have realised that I am the treasure. I am the acre of diamond. I went out expecting him to be reassure not realising that all along, I hold the treasure within. Get me right, am not by any chance underplaying his value, because I believe being a treasure is recognising the treasure in others even if you aint with them. I have just learnt never to let anyone teat me less than I am worth. To listen to my spirit. To love myself first and to seek affirmation from within.

What is freedom?

In what can a person become entrapped? Basically and foremost, he can become entrapped in ideas. In view of the fact that freedom and ability can be seen to be somewhat synonymous, then ideas of disability are first and foremost in entrapment. Amongst men the incident has probably occurred that a person has been sitting upon a bare plain in the total belief that he is entirely entrapped by a fence. In Lake Tanganyika where the sun’s rays, being equatorial, pierce burningly to the lake’s bottom, the natives fish by tying a number of slats of wood on a long piece of line. They take either end of this line and put it in canoes, and then paddle the two canoes to shore, the slatted line stretching between. The sun shining downward presses the shadows of these bars down to the bottom of the lake and thus a cage of shadows moves inward toward the shallows. The fish seeing this cage contract upon them, which is composed of nothing but the absence of light, flounder frantically into the shallows where they cannot swim and are thus caught, picked up in baskets and cooked. Yet there was nothing to be afraid of but shadows.
When we move out of mechanics, man finds himself on unsure ground. The idea that ideas can be so strong and pervasive is foreign to most men. For instance, a government attacked by the communists does not perceive that it is being attacked only by ideas. It believes itself to be attacked by guns, bombs, armies and yet it sees no guns, bombs, armies. It sees only men standing together exchanging ideas. Whether these ideas are sound or not is beside the point, they are at least penetrative. No sixteen-inch armor plate could possibly stop an idea.

Brocken heart

Getting over someone sure isnt easy but its posible.
You will often remember them when you least want to remember them ,they creep into your thughts at the most inapproptiate times... At time syou wish you could yell at them just to make you feel better or kick some sense into them ..then you calm down and remember something funny they said or that special smile or look you shared that was real and wonder what went wrong ? The hardest part is seein them with the on ethey left you gfor..my oh my ...at this point you loose all your strength or resolve to remain calm and just when you think you have lost al your strength , somehow you realse there ou had more strength than you ever thought , so you hold your head high and tell yourself .." They really are gone , I must be strong , I can do this, we werent meant to be , I must move on , I must wish them well." Though you feel sad you pray for their happness, And that is when yolu realise you really cared and can only be proud of yourself for letting them go ...

Expecting

Keep expecting from God because you were alone with God when God spoke with you. Prepare to receive from God like a mother expects to deliver when she knows she is expecting a baby. Don’t give in t o the taunting from the scoffers nor settle for the comfort zone. You know what God said to you so keep the faith. It will surely com et pass. The same people who are talking about you r scoffing at you will be the same people who will want to be seen with you.

Run to the mercy seat

For a long time I have been asking myself why I end up getting involved with the wrong kind of man. Why is it that at first I can feel the vibe and I know they feel it too.Then sudenly there is another woman in the picture and i beome the second violin... I am tired of being second. I am utired of being the back up. Let me tell you what it sdoesnt feel gooo dto be told .." I was just flirtig with you then I started having feelings so i had to stop an dstick to my chick" I mean on ewould wonder if you were gong ou and ny that i mean you have a steady girlfriend but are attracted to someone lese and start having feelingds for them ,isnt that sign that things may not be rosy with your girl and its time to call it quits? I mean woukldnn t that be a good time for you to pursue the feelings you have for this other girl? I done know. Atleast thats what i would do ..anyway . Its also not very flattering to be told that ,"If I werent engaged I would go out with you " or " I am in love with two moen and i have to choose, I have aconnection with the other womn but i am selfish nad iw ant both of you." I mean the second one beats them all , it s obviously from a very selfabsorbed person!. I am tired of playing second fiddle to anyone and from now on , its gonna be me. I come first . I a the first choice and the only choice. No one is second to me. I am irreplaceable. The next person either has llof me or non eof me. I aint throwing my pearsl to the dogs anymore. I have just realised hat, thats what I have been doing. I confess that i have ignored my spirit and my conscience everytime it warned me subtley to run from their advances. I disobeyed even when GOd tried to show me a way out. I just wouldnt listen. Lord I am sorry . I confess. I was wronfgto disobey your word and to get involed with peipe who are not born again. Forgive me. From now on , I will listen. and at the slightest warning from your spirit, I will run as fast as I can from any advances that i know you dont want me to get involved in. U have learned that just because someone isnt saved it doesnt eman that my emotions will automatically refuse to feel for them. I can and will probably be attracted to an unsaved person. My flesh wil obviouly vravefrom them. But it is my spirit that will kep me from them. it i sthe seed of the word that i splanted in me that will heklp me resist the tempatation. It is the word of god that will gaurd me.ANd so for now, I run to the mercy seat...

Turmoil

Guard your heart with all diligence for out of it flows the issues of life.

Has God ever tried to gaud you and save you from something but you stubbornly refused? Has God ever tried to keep you off of harm and you failed to listen to the gentle nudging of the Holy Spirit?

Well am one of those people who can be stubborn. I am one of those people who often ignore or rationalise the warnings I get from God. But I thank God that he stubbornly loves me back. I love him because he takes care of me despite my carelessness. I thank him because he knows what’s best for me even in times when I thought I know what’s best for myself and didn’t know better. I thank him because I believe my destiny is in him and he wont let anyone who is up to no good interfere with the plans he has for my life. He shields me he guides me. H counsels me. He comforts me. He keeps me sane. He loves on me. He is my everything. He is my all. In times when I feel worthless because I have failed. H lifts my spirits up and tells me I am somebody. He tells me that I am still precious in his eyes. I am still valuable to him. He still has plans for me that are for good and no for evil. At times I wonder why I stray when I have such a loving shepherd. Such a caring father. I wonder why he loves me so. What can I give in return for his love? I am but dust. I am the most sinful of all sinners. But he keeps me still. Lord what can you do with me? I have nothing good in me to offer you. All I can offer you is my life in return. And o that’s why I commit my life to you saying that all that I ma is what you have made e. All I can be is who you can enable me to be. All that I have is yours.

When I look back at where God got me. How he saved. What he took me through. How he has graciously covered me in the past...I can only give him the glory.
At times it makes me feel like I have given him less than I can give. Less than I ought to give me. Makes me feel like I can be a better person for his Glory. It makes me want to shine that he may get the glory. I only know that I cannot shine without his light shinning in me. I know that I can do nothing without him. Anything I do in my own strength without his guidance amounts to nothing. My prayer is that he may touch me one more time m, Give me a second chance to shine for him. I have nothing to prove that I wont fail him again only that I acknowledge what I have lost and know that I don’t want to loose anymore and I am ready to fight for it.

May God grant me the spirit of excellence for his glory?

I hear God ay that the devil wants to steal my vision and I should watch who I allow into my space lest my spirit gets contaminated. All the war that am facing is about my Vision. It’s all about my dream and what God spoke to me 14 years ago!

When, Where and Why ...?

Where, When and Why…?

When I was young, I believed. And I dreamt.
I was sweet. I had a heart.
I would give. I would forgive.
I was humble. But I was proud too…

Yes proud. Pride that comes because you know you have done an excellent job.
Pride born of a job well done even if you are not mentioned among the best…
Proud because you know in your noah that you gave your all to a task and that’s good enough.
Not pride that comes from vanity or plastic accolades.

I thought deep. I lived easy. But I dreamt too. And I dreamt big.
The size of my dreams was not to drive a big car or live in a mansion, but to touch many hearts.
My dreams were not to bring me recognition or make me an idol created in others impression of me…aah Ah.
My dreams would inspire, encourage and motivate others that they too could make it.
My dreams would propel others to make a difference in others lives…
My dreams would lead others to the knowledge that there are no limits to what they can achieve
Oh! to dream again.

Tell me where did my dreams go?
When did pride and prejudice creep into my soul?
Why did my spirit go sour?
When did image become the plumbline of success?
When did I stop giving and forgiving?
And why did I become vengeful?

Tell me why I forgot how to laugh and how to cry?
How to dance and sing in the rain?
How to take a joke and how to feel other’s pain?
Who stole my laughter? Who stole my tears?
When did my thoughts become so shallow?

Someone please tell me when did I start expecting favours?
Where did it become a right to demand and expect others to live by my standards?
When did I get the need to be treated with fairness knowing all along the world was never meant to be fair?
Tell me when did I start speaking to seen and not letting my actions be heard?

I may not remember why, when and where my dreams, spirit and thoughts unravelled.
But I know, it’s time.
Life slips away like hour glasses
It's time to cease the day
It’s time to start loving in the true meaning of the word.
It's time to sacrifice expecting nothing in return.
It's time to know who I am and whose I am
It’s time to stop defining who I am but what others say.
Its time to start recognising that my identity and destiny is in the great I AM.

Then I can dream again. I can believe again. I can feel again. I can live again.

You Do Not Have Time for Fools

Daily Devotional

from Called to Conquer
Thursday, October 11

Today’s Scripture Reading: Ephesians 5:15–16
Key Verse: Ephesians 5:15–16

See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil.

Your eternity is tied up in time, and time is moving quickly. God did not bring you this far to allow some fool to mess up your life. He brought you through the fires of hell to purify you and purge the poison out of you. That is why He stripped away certain things that you used to cling to. He permitted certain events to occur so you would become a pure seed that He could plant with confidence. You are an investment of God.

Right now, God says, “I expect you to walk with wise people.” Listen, you do not have time to spend your days with just anybody. God orders every step you take, so make sure no godless fool or undisciplined churchgoer pulls you off of that holy path!

I like to go to basketball games, but I have to go with someone who is wise. That pretty much leaves out “just anybody.” My life is not my own; my steps are ordered of the Lord.

I know that I am not going to the basketball game just to watch the basketball. Someone I do not know bought a ticket for the seat on my right. That means that since God directed my steps to that seat, then He must have something for me to tell that person while I am there. Pray with me:

Today's Prayer:

Heavenly Father, You are ordering my steps. I redeem the time and will be wise. I will spend my time with the wise. I know that You are guiding my every step. Lord Jesus, I am listening for Your direction.

Love cycle remixed

To love the one who loves you or to love the one you love?
Often the one you love, love’s someone else.
Its special to find that the one you love, loves you too
So if the one you love, loves you too,
Its wisdom to nurture that love.
But what should one do if the one you love love’s someone else?
Should you love back the one who loves you?
Is the love from the one who loves you the fuel you need for your love to blossom...?
Or should you wait for your love to love you?
What if the one you love doesnt want you love them?
Oh that love would speak for itself!

Love's quest

Love. Why can’t you speak for yourself?
Or are our ears deaf to your language?
Maybe your language is voiceless
And all we need do is look with our hearts to hear your language

Finders questioned

Finders Keepers?

I found a treasure …
But never laid my claim on it …
Another found it,
And laid their claim on it…
Finders are keepers they say.
Should I be glad that the treasure was found
And is rightfully valued?
Or should I claim “my” treasure?
For real love is like hidden treasures,
Discovered only by the valiant …
But elusive to the lily –livered.

Character

To stop a fire …stop putting wood in the fire.
Lust is conditional and emotional
Love is unconditional ….
I don’t need you to love me for me to love you.
I love you because I have been commanded to love you.
If you don’t love me, that’s between you and God.
Character is what you do on your own. Take charge of your emotions if you don’t take charge of your emotions you will get hurt Let the word be the final authority in your life. If you are hurting, you will hurt others.Get into God’s word and stay with God’s word no a matter what your emotions will tell you.Stick to the Word of God as the final authority in your life …Gods word is not emotional. If you are not listening to God’s word you are listening to someone word and it may be negative word.Prosperity is wholeness in all areas of life

Praise God

I just wanna paise god because this Sunday Iwent to Church . To many this may seem like nothing but to me its everything
You see its been a year since I stepped into my home church .I just couldnt go to church .I dont know why. I mean I still sent my tithe and listened to preachers on TV .I am still saved.But i just couldnt go to chuch. So for me , going to Church yesterday was God's doing. It was a God thing for me. And believe me I had to fight a lot of demons to get to chuch. First I just couldnt decide what to wear ..you know what I mean ? I wanted something that was comfortable but it just wouldnt match the shoes etc etc ...then God told me to go just as I was.As lonfg as I went to church .I took his word and dressed casual and made up my mind that it didnt matter what I was wearing whats iportant was that I make it my Fathers house and after a year! All that God wanted was for me to be in his sanctuary. My heart matters more than my clothes! I praise Gipd and I remember feeling excited on my way to church because I kept thinking this is really great. I dont care what anyone thinks of me because they dont know how many devils I had to fight to get to church and now that I was getting into church, I was gonna praise God. I remember God saying that every week I would have to fight some devils to get to chuch and it didnt matter that it was a year or a week before I got to church just as long as I was going to church I would have fight some devils to get there. The battle would be the same! So when you see people in church, praise God for them because you dont know what devils they had to fight to get there. They are overcomers just by getting through the church doors. So dont take them for granted.I praise him because I know I wouldnt have made it to Church without him.Wow! Thank you Jesus..

Humbled

Yesterday I was feeling really low
I felt like I had let God down
Acted in a way that doesn’t reflect my belief
Lost my pride.
Lost my dignity, my sense of direction and self-worth
I had let my family down, disenchanted the female species
Disappointed the brethren, disgraced my Lord, disillusioned my spirit.
Didn’t want anyone to look at me, walk to me or talk with me
And just when I was about to burry myself
A classmate I hardly talk to approached me
“Have this DVD. I carried it just for you …”, he said
“Please look at it and tell me what you think?
Wait a minute?
“Me? Look at it? My opinion matters?
The pitiful, shameless, sinner?
Dear Lord, What are you doing?”
How humbling.
Oh how humbled I felt at that moment.
It is then that I realised its by grace that am saved and
Not by my wm works lest I should boast
Tat his strength is made perfect in my weakness
All my acts of righteousness are but filthy rags before him
Had I not failed, my heart would have swelled with pride for receiving such a request
Now I know that to God belongs all glory
It is because He is that I am …

Desire, reflection , transparency

My heart says it wants you
My mind says I shouldnt have you
Is it fair for me to define what you feel for me
When I cant define what I feel for you ?
What am I to do with you if I have you…?
What can I offer you if you take me …?
Why doesn’t the heart have a mouth to speak for itself ?
This have I learned from you
Desire, reflection and transparency…
Restoration, moderation and Ignition
You have revived once dead desires ☺
Forcing me to reflect on my values
And the values to expect from my mate
You have taught me to face my fears
Allowed me to express my secret desires
To be naked,
To be unshamed ...
And judged me not.

Set you Free

You say you feel for me
But to sense the tension you have when am around you
Grieves me more than the pain of not having you
For we all desire to be celebrated not tolerated
I now realize I love you enough to set you free

Finders keepers...?

I found a treasure …
But never laid my claim on it …
Another found it
And laid their claim on it…
I can only be glad that the treasure was found
And is rightfully valued …
For real love is like hidden treasures
Discovered only by valiant …
But elusive to the lily –livered

© Blacksmith

The Love Cycle

To love the one who loves you or to love the one you love?
Quite often the one you love, love’s someone else
And a rare gift it is to find that the one you love, loves you too
So if the one you love,
Loves you too,
Nurture that love
And if the one you love, love someone else
Love the one who loves you
For who knows that their love
Is all you need for your love to blossom...?

© Blacksmith

Lovers dilemma

You have doubts? I have them too
You got questions? I 've got questions too
Confused? Am confused too
You can get sex from anyone, anytime and anywhere and so can I …
But why is that although I can get sex from anyone, anywhere and anytime
I only want to have it with you?
Todays conentional man and woman can have sex with as many women and men feel nothing
But a man of value and a woman of substance would rather make love prefers to the one they feel something …
The ties that bind should be deeper than sex
For after seeing the sun, moon, mountains and rivers …
The cock crows …and life must be lived.

© Blacksmith