Why Did I get married?

Why Did I get married ?
Becaause nobody can d o me like Jesus.
Another confirmation is the words and preaching of Bishop Jamal Bryants message – Why did I get married?

It talks about God getting ready to turn stuff around in the next 6 months, I aint never gonna be broke, lonely and unfulfilled again. I mean you’ll should just hear that message to get my drift. God is redeeming the last six months of mylife. And to be honest the last ssix months of my life have been an emotional hell. Loving someone who loves someone else and they not being brave enough t o tell you so…they were stringing me along. I suspected that they loved this other person and at some point. ( I have know come to believe that it must have been the Holy Ghost warning me that they were planning a wedding and to leave the country with this other person). I confronted them and told them they loved this other person but they denied it. When I finally saw the truth and realised that I was the third wheel in the relationship and settled to being frinds I truly believed he would respect me but he kept treating me less than I know a friend should be treated and his manner of leaving was sneaky...He left the country without telling me goodbye and broke the news of his leaving with her on email and only after I had written to him wishing him well in his new country of posting. Well the whole affair just hurt and the worst bit of it was the psychological torcher of being compared to another woman. I felt like am on auction.Kama nyama mnadani . Anyway aty the end while evaluating the whole situation, I went through a pperiod of blaming myself But I do believe that the lord has chastised me and its because he loves me. He I daily enabling me t look back and pick the lesson where necessary, address my mistakes without hating myself. He tells me that their was a reason for it and not to loose the lesson in self pity. I somehow still believed they were my friend. I have learnt that I shouldn’t dummy down for anyone. For Example that I shouldnt “dummy down” for anyone ( believe it or not he nce asked me to side with him in arguments in class and even once critised my arguments as skewed just because my view was different . Secondly I am valuable and shouldn’t let any man treat me less than I am. And the most important so far that I keep learning daily is to listen to the still small voice. I have also learnt How to love and tis from the other woman. Be ready to give up your all for your man. I should be ready to give up my all for Jesus because he loves me and loves me good.

God’s turning stuff around such that everything that was stopping me from reproducing , all haters, leeches and stress is being cut off me. The most amazing thing about this message is that I just planned a 2008 SLP and in my divinely inspired SLP I am to meet someone in six months (June) sand get married in 6 months- December. But in the first six months I am to cement my relationship with Christ as my first husband such that no one and nothing can separate or come between me and Christ and his purpose for my life, For until this relationship is sealed God aint gonna let any man (joker ) have me. I am too precious….he wount let me go with a man who aint good for me and most importantly his purpose for my life, Thats the promise. This is so crazy because I am supposed t buy a ring and engrave the words of Gods promise to me on that ring and the words are ‘ Your maker & redeemer is your 1st husband . Then am supposed to already start shopping for a wedding dress, shopping for a cake and making arrangements for the wedding ceremony and in faith….calling the things that be not as though they were! Yes it sounds crazy but God is looking for some crazy people-thats what my Spiritual father T.D Jakes says and am gonna be crazy for God! Hallelluyah ! Thank you Jesus! Wow! And that’s God’s promise. To be my first husband. (Am making a mental note to get the book Understanding the purpose of men)

Prayer:
Lord I thank you because You have already done it. I feel a praise coming down in my spirit and I give you the glory. Yo are well able. You are faithful. You are God. You are more thn I can describe in words . Yes lord. Yes Lord. I worship you! I give you the Glory. You are a loving father. You are my all in all. You are my keeper. My guide. My maker. My strength,. My very reason for being ! I love you Jesus.

Engaged

Today I got a confirmation from God on what he had been speaking to me towards the end of 2008. That I have a wedding band over my head and I should put it ion my finger.
You see towards the end of last year I went through a break up that was really painful and I kept asking God why I had to go through it. And he told me it was because I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t prepared.. You see when I was 15 The Lord told me tat I would get married but before I got married, He wanted me to know that he is my first husband. Then I didn’t know which scripture confirms that but much later in life I learned its in Isaiah 54.5
Isaiah 54:1-8 (New International Version)
New International Version (NIV) Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society

The Future Glory of Zion
1 "Sing, O barren woman,
you who never bore a child;
burst into song, shout for joy,
you who were never in labor;
because more are the children of the desolate woman
than of her who has a husband,"
says the LORD.

2 "Enlarge the place of your tent,
stretch your tent curtains wide,
do not hold back;
lengthen your cords,
strengthen your stakes.

3 For you will spread out to the right and to the left;
your descendants will dispossess nations
and settle in their desolate cities.

4 "Do not be afraid; you will not suffer shame.
Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated.
You will forget the shame of your youth
and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood.

5 For your Maker is your husband—
the LORD Almighty is his name—
the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer;
he is called the God of all the earth.

6 The LORD will call you back
as if you were a wife deserted and distressed in spirit—
a wife who married young,
only to be rejected," says your God.

7 "For a brief moment I abandoned you,
but with deep compassion I will bring you back.

8 In a surge of anger
I hid my face from you for a moment,
but with everlasting kindness
I will have compassion on you,"
says the LORD your Redeemer.
As I cried over my loss…God told me it was time to stop weeping and to start preparing. Having lost the man , I should not loose the lesson. And the lesson was for me to get ready, get prepared. And getting ready and getting prepared means that I gotta seal my relationship with God. I gotta have the spiritual husband and wife ( Bride and Groom ) relationship with God first because nothing can break what God said to me in the Spirit first. So before I get married my relationship with God has to be sure and be established for one and for all. Secondly I heard God tell me buy a ring an engagement ring and that if anyone asks me I should tell them tat I am engaged. Calling the things that be not as though they are. The engagement ring as I just learned today represents the promise. The wedding band represents the authority of the bride. SO what I need to do is get the ring that remains me of the promise that God has made to me. But the word I heard today was such a Rhema and confirmation word to me tat what God said would happen is gonna happen and I had better Take God seriously. I gotta trust that God has my best interest at heart. How would a prophet in a different country know that God told me to nut that ring and start shopping for a wedding dress even before I have met the man? And that is in the physical? And so I Am filled with awe and I worship God for hid s greatness and his faithfulness. I give him praise for being an all knowing God and a loving father. God ‘s really got me covered.

Dear heveanly father, I thank you for your word. I thank y for your faithfullnes. I thank you for your confirmation. Lord I pray that you may help me as I obey your word. Lead me to the place where I am to buy the ring. And direct me as to the engraving that will be on “the” ring. Lord I also pray that you may provide for the finances to get that ring. Lord I thank you because everything that you have promised is already done.

Driver seat

While going to work today I experienced a great lesson, There was lots of traffic and the driver decided to use a short cut,… I didn’t want him to use the short cut and complained that he was acting wise while leading just to more traffic ( we ended up using that route and there was not as much traffic as I expected I guess it was the fear of the unknown or the need to stick to the familiar route) . As I sat behind him sulking ...and trying to get the other passengers to complain I heard the Holy Spirit telling me that there can only be one driver in that matatu ( public van ) . And since only one person as behind the wheel it was up to hmm to make the decissin as to what route he would take as long as he got us to the final destination which was the city centre. Just as frustrated as I was about being late. The driver also didn’t want to stay in traffic and was probably doing his best t get us to town as fast as possible. I compared this to our Christian lives How often do we tell God that we trust him and when he leads us we complain about the paths he is leading us through? Just as I trusted the driver to get us to town on time we should also trust that God knows our destination and its to not only Ours but God’s best interest to get us there safe and on time. All we need to do is trust him with the steering will of our hearts and stop complaining because when we complain like I did it just causes unnecessary delay. And that is my lesson for the day. Oh and I also learnt to get up half an hour earlier than I have been doing this past few days…then I would not worry about the route followed. I guess the double lesson is be prepared for anything!

Prayer ;
Dear Lord,
Forgive me for the times when I have complained when all you were doing is leading me in the best direction possible to get me to my destiny. I ask for your forgiveness and surrender my heart , my will to your will trusting that you do have good plans for me and that you are well able to get me to my purpose. Take over the driver seat Jesus I pray in your name. Whichever route you choose to use, I will follow. Amen

Purpose 2008

Towards the end of the 2007and at the beginnng of the year I went trow an experience that made me want to know the real purpose of my life more than anything. I have made it my purpose to find out WHats god’s purpose of my life is and to purposefully and on purpose live for my purpose no matter what the cost.
So far I have read two books on purpose and a reading the third
The first which I read a few years back was In pursuit of purpose
The second was understanding the purpose of Woman. I plan to read Understanding the purpose of men and Understanding the Purpose of Praise and worship. The book I am currently reading is 40Duys of purpose driven life ….
And the lesson s learned from in Pursuit of Purpose are
1. God made me for relatuonsship and Dominion. So my first focus shuld be to build my relationship with God first for the Bible says that The plans of the heart are ans but it’s the purpose of God that will be established…So am better of surrendering to the purpose of God on my life than running after my own desires that are contrary to the wil of God.
Secondly My individual purpose is that individual dream which God has placed in my heart and that God purpose is connected to something that I already like doing …whether I know it or not. SO I have made it my purpose for the in this three weeks to first and pray that God may lead me to his perfect plan for my life. I cry out to God that if he does nothing else for me this year let him lead me to his perfect purpose for my life.

IN y daily devotional of 40 days of Purpose driven living, I have been learning of the 5 purposes that God made for me..

1. I was planned for God’s pleasure.
2.Formed For Gods family
3.Created to become like Christ
4.Shaped for serving God
5. Made for a mission
I realise that I have to determine in my heart that I will pursue God first and that God’s word has to be the final authority in my life. I have to trust in him and by faith I will reap my reward for without faith its impossible to please God. So even when I don’t feel him I have to trust that he is with me I also have to learn to listen and discern his voice and obey him when he speaks to me. And all this will be not by might, not by my own power but by the Holy Spirit of God.
Life is a test, a trust and a temporary assignment.

God's minute

I've only just a minute,
Only sixty seconds in it.
Forced upon me, can't refuse it,
Didn't seek it, didn't choose it,
But it's up to me to use it.
I must suffer if I lose it,
Give an account if I abuse it,
Just a tiny little minute,
But eternity is in it.

By Dr. Benjamin E. Mays

"How do I love thee? Let me count the ways..."

"How do I love thee? Let me count the ways..."
by Elizabeth Barrett Browning (1806-1861)

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with a passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, --- I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! --- and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.