It does not matter what the Wall Street Journal says, the best things
in life, are still free......
1) THE GIFT OF LISTENING...
But you must REALLY listen.
No interrupting,no daydreaming,
no planning your response.
Just listening.
2) THE GIFT OF AFFECTION...
Be generous with appropriate hugs,
kisses, pats on the back and handholds.
Let these small actions demonstrate the
love you have for family and friends.
3) THE GIFT OF LAUGHTER...
Clip cartoons.
Share articles and funny stories.
Your gift will say, "I love to laugh with you."
4) THE GIFT OF A WRITTEN NOTE...
It can be a simple
"Thanks for the help" note or a full sonnet.
A brief, handwritten note may be remembered for
a lifetime, and may even change a life.
5) THE GIFT OF A COMPLIMENT...
A simple and sincere,
"You look great in red," "You did a super job"
or "That was a wonderful meal"
can make someone's day.
6) THE GIFT OF A FAVOUR...
Every day, go out of your way
to do something kind.
7) THE GIFT OF SOLITUDE...
There are times when we want nothing better
than to be left alone.
Be sensitive to those times and give the gift of
solitude to others.
8) THE GIFT OF A CHEERFUL DISPOSITION...
The easiest way to feel good is
to extend a kind word to someone,
really it's not that hard to say,
Hello or Thank You.
Friends are a very rare jewel, indeed.
They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They lend
an ear, they share a word of praise, and they always want to open
their hearts to us.
Monday, June 30, 2008
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Love Defined
What is love, but an emotion,
So strong and so pure,
That nurtured and shared with another
All tests it will endure?
What is love, but a force
To bring the mighty low,
With the strength to shame the mountains
And halt time’s ceaseless flow?
What is love, but a triumph,
A glorious goal attained,
The union of two souls, two hearts
A bond the angels have ordained?
What is love, but a champion,
To cast the tyrant from his throne,
And raise the flag of truth and peace,
And fear of death o’erthrow?
What is love, but a beacon,
To guide the wayward heart,
A blazing light upon the shoals
That dash cherished dreams apart?
And what is love, but forever,
Eternal and sincere,
A flame that through wax and wane
Will outlive life’s brief years?
So I’ll tell it on the mountaintops,
In all places high and low,
That love for you is my reason to be,
And will never break or bow.
- Matt Dubois -
So strong and so pure,
That nurtured and shared with another
All tests it will endure?
What is love, but a force
To bring the mighty low,
With the strength to shame the mountains
And halt time’s ceaseless flow?
What is love, but a triumph,
A glorious goal attained,
The union of two souls, two hearts
A bond the angels have ordained?
What is love, but a champion,
To cast the tyrant from his throne,
And raise the flag of truth and peace,
And fear of death o’erthrow?
What is love, but a beacon,
To guide the wayward heart,
A blazing light upon the shoals
That dash cherished dreams apart?
And what is love, but forever,
Eternal and sincere,
A flame that through wax and wane
Will outlive life’s brief years?
So I’ll tell it on the mountaintops,
In all places high and low,
That love for you is my reason to be,
And will never break or bow.
- Matt Dubois -
Monday, June 23, 2008
Understanding Your Fear Dance
To make sure you understand the dance, let's take a look at what the Fear Dance might look like for you.
1. You hurt. What does your hurt look like? Think of the range of emotions you feel when you are wounded: bewilderment, sadness, disconnection, anger, confusion, worry, rage, frustration, horror, embarrassment. Those are just a handful of the words that could describe your real-life hurts.
2. You want. When you hurt, you want a solution. You want things that will make you feel better. Sometimes you might think that eating will make you feel better, shopping will replace the hurt, focusing on the children or other things will make you forget your troubles, drinking will dull the pain. You spin lists of things that you believe would satisfy your wants. Or you reduce the conflict to that one, solitary thing that you believe you need to feel satisfied: if only the other person would change so that you could feel better.
Without realizing it, you often expect that the other person will change to satisfy you and give you what you want. You see that person both as your problem and as your solution: You think, If only my spouse would change. Or, If only I had a different boss, I would get the promotion at work. Or, If only she would just … Or, If only my friends would … The end of that sentence is always: then I could be happy.
Do you see the common thread in all this thinking? Two words: misplaced expectations. When you expect people, places, and things to fulfill your wants, you will be disappointed. And anytime you put your expectations for help in the wrong place, the result is fear.
Our Wants
ACCEPTANCE—I want to be warmly received without condition.
GRACE—I want something good (e.g., forgiveness) that I don't deserve.
CONNECTION—I want to be united to others.
COMPANIONSHIP—I want deep, intimate relationships.
SUCCESS—I want to achieve or accomplish something.
SELF-DETERMINATION—I want to have independence and free will.
UNDERSTANDING—I want to be known.
LOVE—I want to feel attractive to others.
VALIDATION—I want to be valued for who I am.
COMPETENCE—I want to have skills and ability that bring success.
RESPECT—I want to be admired and esteemed.
WORTH—I want to feel important.
HONOR—I want to feel like a priceless treasure.
COMMITMENT—I want to have unconditional security in relationships.
SIGNIFICANCE—I want to have meaning and purpose.
ATTENTION—I want to be noticed.
COMFORT—I want to feel a sense of well-being.
SUPPORT—I want to be cared for.
APPROVAL—I want to be liked and accepted.
WANTED—I want to be sought after.
SAFETY—I want to feel protected and secure.
AFFECTION—I want to feel fondness and warmth.
TRUST—I want to have faith in others.
HOPE—I want confidence that I will get what I love and desire.
JOY—I want to feel satisfied and happy.
3. You fear. Through thousands of marriage intensives, both at our counseling centers and with people around the world, we have come to realize that when a conflict stirs powerful emotions of hurt and want, it also touches specific fears. Think about your own troubled relationships. You want to connect, but you fear you're not attractive enough (or competent enough or smart enough or whatever). You want to be accepted, but you fear you're not good enough. You want respect, but you fear the other person will look down on you. You want to control your situation, but you fear you are powerless.
Do you see how your fears actually reflect your wants? When you feel your wants won't be fulfilled, you experience fear:
We can't live without ________. So we fear ________ (You fill in the blanks)
Acceptance Rejection
Grace Judgment
Connection Disconnection
Companionship Loneliness
Success Failure
Self-Determination Powerlessness
Understanding Being misunderstood
Love Being scorned
Validation Being invalidated
Competence Feeling defective
Respect Inferiority
Worth Worthlessness
Honor Feeling devalued
Dignity Humiliation
Commitment Abandonment
Significance Feeling unimportant
Attention Feeling ignored
Support Neglect
Approval Condemnation
Wanted Feeling unwanted
Safety Danger
Affection Feeling disliked
Trust Mistrust
Hope Despair
Joy Unhappiness
Even though we have listed twenty-five wants and fears here, Greg and Bob's team found that all of our deepest desires stem from our desires for connection and control. Our deepest fears, then, are the fear of losing connection and losing control.
4. You react. If you are like most people, you—consciously and unconsciously—fall into well-worn patterns of reacting when someone pushes your fear button. You'll do anything to soothe your hurt. You'll do anything to avoid the awful feeling of want. You'll do or say anything to calm your fear.
More often than not, your emotions and thinking result in behavior that damages your relationships. When you fear that your wants will not be fulfilled, you react. You may fear losing control, so you try to seize control.
You may fear losing connection, so you try to seize connection. Our team describes these reactions as your attempt to become the broker for your own wants. You desperately want your way—to be sovereign, to overcome your feelings of helplessness.
This means that it's not merely your core fear that disrupts and injures your relationships. It's how you choose to react when someone pushes your fear button. Most of us use unhealthy, faulty reactions to deal with our fear, and as a result we sabotage our relationships.
» Read the Explanation
© Copyright 2004 Smalley Relationship Center
1. You hurt. What does your hurt look like? Think of the range of emotions you feel when you are wounded: bewilderment, sadness, disconnection, anger, confusion, worry, rage, frustration, horror, embarrassment. Those are just a handful of the words that could describe your real-life hurts.
2. You want. When you hurt, you want a solution. You want things that will make you feel better. Sometimes you might think that eating will make you feel better, shopping will replace the hurt, focusing on the children or other things will make you forget your troubles, drinking will dull the pain. You spin lists of things that you believe would satisfy your wants. Or you reduce the conflict to that one, solitary thing that you believe you need to feel satisfied: if only the other person would change so that you could feel better.
Without realizing it, you often expect that the other person will change to satisfy you and give you what you want. You see that person both as your problem and as your solution: You think, If only my spouse would change. Or, If only I had a different boss, I would get the promotion at work. Or, If only she would just … Or, If only my friends would … The end of that sentence is always: then I could be happy.
Do you see the common thread in all this thinking? Two words: misplaced expectations. When you expect people, places, and things to fulfill your wants, you will be disappointed. And anytime you put your expectations for help in the wrong place, the result is fear.
Our Wants
ACCEPTANCE—I want to be warmly received without condition.
GRACE—I want something good (e.g., forgiveness) that I don't deserve.
CONNECTION—I want to be united to others.
COMPANIONSHIP—I want deep, intimate relationships.
SUCCESS—I want to achieve or accomplish something.
SELF-DETERMINATION—I want to have independence and free will.
UNDERSTANDING—I want to be known.
LOVE—I want to feel attractive to others.
VALIDATION—I want to be valued for who I am.
COMPETENCE—I want to have skills and ability that bring success.
RESPECT—I want to be admired and esteemed.
WORTH—I want to feel important.
HONOR—I want to feel like a priceless treasure.
COMMITMENT—I want to have unconditional security in relationships.
SIGNIFICANCE—I want to have meaning and purpose.
ATTENTION—I want to be noticed.
COMFORT—I want to feel a sense of well-being.
SUPPORT—I want to be cared for.
APPROVAL—I want to be liked and accepted.
WANTED—I want to be sought after.
SAFETY—I want to feel protected and secure.
AFFECTION—I want to feel fondness and warmth.
TRUST—I want to have faith in others.
HOPE—I want confidence that I will get what I love and desire.
JOY—I want to feel satisfied and happy.
3. You fear. Through thousands of marriage intensives, both at our counseling centers and with people around the world, we have come to realize that when a conflict stirs powerful emotions of hurt and want, it also touches specific fears. Think about your own troubled relationships. You want to connect, but you fear you're not attractive enough (or competent enough or smart enough or whatever). You want to be accepted, but you fear you're not good enough. You want respect, but you fear the other person will look down on you. You want to control your situation, but you fear you are powerless.
Do you see how your fears actually reflect your wants? When you feel your wants won't be fulfilled, you experience fear:
We can't live without ________. So we fear ________ (You fill in the blanks)
Acceptance Rejection
Grace Judgment
Connection Disconnection
Companionship Loneliness
Success Failure
Self-Determination Powerlessness
Understanding Being misunderstood
Love Being scorned
Validation Being invalidated
Competence Feeling defective
Respect Inferiority
Worth Worthlessness
Honor Feeling devalued
Dignity Humiliation
Commitment Abandonment
Significance Feeling unimportant
Attention Feeling ignored
Support Neglect
Approval Condemnation
Wanted Feeling unwanted
Safety Danger
Affection Feeling disliked
Trust Mistrust
Hope Despair
Joy Unhappiness
Even though we have listed twenty-five wants and fears here, Greg and Bob's team found that all of our deepest desires stem from our desires for connection and control. Our deepest fears, then, are the fear of losing connection and losing control.
4. You react. If you are like most people, you—consciously and unconsciously—fall into well-worn patterns of reacting when someone pushes your fear button. You'll do anything to soothe your hurt. You'll do anything to avoid the awful feeling of want. You'll do or say anything to calm your fear.
More often than not, your emotions and thinking result in behavior that damages your relationships. When you fear that your wants will not be fulfilled, you react. You may fear losing control, so you try to seize control.
You may fear losing connection, so you try to seize connection. Our team describes these reactions as your attempt to become the broker for your own wants. You desperately want your way—to be sovereign, to overcome your feelings of helplessness.
This means that it's not merely your core fear that disrupts and injures your relationships. It's how you choose to react when someone pushes your fear button. Most of us use unhealthy, faulty reactions to deal with our fear, and as a result we sabotage our relationships.
» Read the Explanation
© Copyright 2004 Smalley Relationship Center
Today
The World's Largest Daily Joke Network
Quote of the Day
Monday, June 23, 2008
"Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves."
- Abraham Lincoln
Interested? Take a Look!
Jokemaster's Note
Dog Of The Week
Rex Barker here with "The Best Day Of My Life"...
Send us LESSONS that you've learned in life! Please put LESSON in the subject line. Your last name will not be used, unless you tell us in your email. We get hundreds, but all are read...
Please submit your favorite inspirational stories, pictures, quotes, or dog pictures to RexBarker@Joke-Of-The-Day.com
Today, when I awoke, I suddenly realized that this is the best day of my life, ever!
There were times when I wondered if I would make it to today; but I did! And because I did I'm going to celebrate! Today, I'm going to celebrate what an unbelievable life I have had so far: the accomplishments, the many blessings, and, yes, even the hardships because they have served to make me stronger.
I will go through this day with my head held high, and a happy heart. I will marvel at God's seemingly simple gifts: the morning dew, the sun, the clouds, the trees, the flowers, the birds.
Today, none of these miraculous creations will escape my notice. Today, I will share my excitement for life with other people. I'll make someone smile. I'll go out of my way to perform an unexpected act of kindness for someone I don't even know. Today, I'll give a sincere compliment to someone who seems down. I'll tell a child how special he is, and I'll tell someone I love just how deeply I care for her and how much she means to me.
Today is the day I quit worrying about what I don't have and start being grateful for all the wonderful things I have already been given. I'll remember that to worry is just a waste of time because my faith in the Divine Plan ensures everything will be just fine. And tonight, before I go to bed, I'll go outside and Praise my eyes to the heavens and stand in awe at the beauty of the stars and the moon.
As the day ends and I lay my head down on my pillow, and be thankful for the best day of my life. And I will sleep the sleep of a contented child, excited with expectation because I know tomorrow is going to be the best day of my life, ever!
This is Rex Barker reminding you that if one of your goals in life is to be happy, reread this piece every day --- and joyfully watch how your outlook changes.
Quote of the Day
Monday, June 23, 2008
"Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves."
- Abraham Lincoln
Interested? Take a Look!
Jokemaster's Note
Dog Of The Week
Rex Barker here with "The Best Day Of My Life"...
Send us LESSONS that you've learned in life! Please put LESSON in the subject line. Your last name will not be used, unless you tell us in your email. We get hundreds, but all are read...
Please submit your favorite inspirational stories, pictures, quotes, or dog pictures to RexBarker@Joke-Of-The-Day.com
Today, when I awoke, I suddenly realized that this is the best day of my life, ever!
There were times when I wondered if I would make it to today; but I did! And because I did I'm going to celebrate! Today, I'm going to celebrate what an unbelievable life I have had so far: the accomplishments, the many blessings, and, yes, even the hardships because they have served to make me stronger.
I will go through this day with my head held high, and a happy heart. I will marvel at God's seemingly simple gifts: the morning dew, the sun, the clouds, the trees, the flowers, the birds.
Today, none of these miraculous creations will escape my notice. Today, I will share my excitement for life with other people. I'll make someone smile. I'll go out of my way to perform an unexpected act of kindness for someone I don't even know. Today, I'll give a sincere compliment to someone who seems down. I'll tell a child how special he is, and I'll tell someone I love just how deeply I care for her and how much she means to me.
Today is the day I quit worrying about what I don't have and start being grateful for all the wonderful things I have already been given. I'll remember that to worry is just a waste of time because my faith in the Divine Plan ensures everything will be just fine. And tonight, before I go to bed, I'll go outside and Praise my eyes to the heavens and stand in awe at the beauty of the stars and the moon.
As the day ends and I lay my head down on my pillow, and be thankful for the best day of my life. And I will sleep the sleep of a contented child, excited with expectation because I know tomorrow is going to be the best day of my life, ever!
This is Rex Barker reminding you that if one of your goals in life is to be happy, reread this piece every day --- and joyfully watch how your outlook changes.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Fathers day poem
A Father's Father...
Many, many years ago
When I was twenty three,
I got married to a widow,
Pretty as could be.
This widow had a grown-up daughter
With flowing hair of red.
My father fell in love with her,
And soon the two were wed.
This made my dad my son-in-law
And changed my very life.
Now my daughter was my mother,
For she was my father's wife.
To complicate the matters worse,
Although it brought me joy.
I soon became the father
Of a bouncing baby boy.
My little baby then became
A brother-in-law to dad.
And so became my uncle,
Though it made me very sad.
For if he was my uncle,
Then that also made him brother
To the widow's grown-up-daughter
Who, of course, was my step-mother.
Father's wife then had a son,
Who kept them on the run.
And he became my grandson,
For he was my daughter's son.
My wife is now my mother's mother
And it makes me blue.
Because, although she is my wife,
She's my grandma too.
If my wife is my grandmother,
Then I am her grandchild.
And every time I think of it,
It simply drives me wild.
For now I have become
The strangest case you ever saw.
As the husband of my grandmother,
I am my own grandpa!
Many, many years ago
When I was twenty three,
I got married to a widow,
Pretty as could be.
This widow had a grown-up daughter
With flowing hair of red.
My father fell in love with her,
And soon the two were wed.
This made my dad my son-in-law
And changed my very life.
Now my daughter was my mother,
For she was my father's wife.
To complicate the matters worse,
Although it brought me joy.
I soon became the father
Of a bouncing baby boy.
My little baby then became
A brother-in-law to dad.
And so became my uncle,
Though it made me very sad.
For if he was my uncle,
Then that also made him brother
To the widow's grown-up-daughter
Who, of course, was my step-mother.
Father's wife then had a son,
Who kept them on the run.
And he became my grandson,
For he was my daughter's son.
My wife is now my mother's mother
And it makes me blue.
Because, although she is my wife,
She's my grandma too.
If my wife is my grandmother,
Then I am her grandchild.
And every time I think of it,
It simply drives me wild.
For now I have become
The strangest case you ever saw.
As the husband of my grandmother,
I am my own grandpa!
Rain drops on roses
Raindrops on Roses...
Maalox and nose drops and needles for knitting,
Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings,
Bundles of magazines tied up in string,
These are a few of my favorite things.
Cadillacs and cataracts ,and hearing aids and glasses,
Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses,
Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,
These are a few of my favorite things.
When the pipes leak,
When the bones creak,
When the knees go bad,
I simply remember my favorite things,
And then I don't feel so bad.
Hot tea and crumpets and corn pads for bunions,
No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,
Bathrobes and heating pads and hot meals they bring,
These are a few of my favorite things.
Back pains, confused brains, and no need for sinnin',
Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin',
And we won't mention our short shrunken frames,
When we remember our favorite things.
When the joints ache,
When the hips break,
When the eyes grow dim,
Then I remember the great life I've had,
And then I don't feel so bad.
Maalox and nose drops and needles for knitting,
Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings,
Bundles of magazines tied up in string,
These are a few of my favorite things.
Cadillacs and cataracts ,and hearing aids and glasses,
Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses,
Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,
These are a few of my favorite things.
When the pipes leak,
When the bones creak,
When the knees go bad,
I simply remember my favorite things,
And then I don't feel so bad.
Hot tea and crumpets and corn pads for bunions,
No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,
Bathrobes and heating pads and hot meals they bring,
These are a few of my favorite things.
Back pains, confused brains, and no need for sinnin',
Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin',
And we won't mention our short shrunken frames,
When we remember our favorite things.
When the joints ache,
When the hips break,
When the eyes grow dim,
Then I remember the great life I've had,
And then I don't feel so bad.
Today
Whatever you give away today, or think or say or do, will multiply about tenfold, and then return to you. It may not come immediately nor from the obvious source, but the law applies unfailingly through some invisible force.
Whatever you feel about another, be it love or hate or passion, will surely bounce right back at you in some clear or secret fashion. If you speak about someone a word of praise or two, soon tens of other people will speak kind words to you.
Our thoughts are products of the soul, not secrets of the brain, kind ones bring us happiness, petty ones untold pain. Giving works as surely as reflections in a mirror, if hate you send, hate you'll get back, but loving brings love nearer.
Remember as you start this day and duty crowds your mind, that kindness comes so quickly back to those who first are kind. Let that thought and this one direct you through each day... The only things we ever keep, are the things we give away.
Whatever you feel about another, be it love or hate or passion, will surely bounce right back at you in some clear or secret fashion. If you speak about someone a word of praise or two, soon tens of other people will speak kind words to you.
Our thoughts are products of the soul, not secrets of the brain, kind ones bring us happiness, petty ones untold pain. Giving works as surely as reflections in a mirror, if hate you send, hate you'll get back, but loving brings love nearer.
Remember as you start this day and duty crowds your mind, that kindness comes so quickly back to those who first are kind. Let that thought and this one direct you through each day... The only things we ever keep, are the things we give away.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)